Say Bye Bye Bye to Your Excuses and Invest In Yourself!

This is Melinda Kim, Founder of Aspirely. Today, I am squashing excuses show you how you can invest in yourself.

Investing in yourself is so important because you will feel that a sense of purpose and fulfillment that is for YOU and not your family. We tend to give every moment of every day to other people, whether it’s our family, business or work. Because at the end of the day, if we don’t feel like we’re growing and progressing as an individual, we can’t fully give ourselves to our family and friends.

I hear a lot of reasons why investing in yourself is hard… things like I don’t have time for that right now, I don’t have the money or I’m not sure what I want to do.

So I’m going to address all that right now… Let’s face it, we all have time and a matter of putting yourself in priority and make the time. Think of creative ways like making a commitment for ½ an hour a day, pop in a video and work out from your home. Or go take a community course that you’ve always wanted to take while the kids are at school. The trick is to schedule it. We all know if something’s not written, it’s not going happen.

Next, let’s talk about the money thing! There are so many resources online between blogs and Youtube that you can pretty much learn about anything you want. So get Googling and I’m sure you’ll find a great cooking class or workout regime that you can simply follow.

And the third one is not being sure of what you want to do. This is actually very common. But if you listen to you own voice, you really know what your interests are. Don’t be afraid to start! If it’s dancing and you haven’t danced in a while, go take a dance class at your local gym that you may belong to already. Or simply try some arts and crafts you see on Pinterest.

The point is, just start taking time out and investing back in yourself. If you’re happy, you’ll find yourself giving more back to your family.

She Said Something That I Wish I Had the Guts to Say!

Melinda Kim, Founder for Aspirely.com chats with author, host, speaker and surfer Vidette Vanderweide about her heart dropping journey to discovery, reinvention and becoming a S.O.U.L Mama.

Melinda: I downloaded your book in my iPhone and I was really impressed with your writing because I really felt like you were telling my story.  There was a point where you were in your car where you were dropping the kids off at school, and you broke down crying.  You realized that this is not the life you had imagined and I personally went through the same thing.  I felt like I chased “things” all my life and at one point, I also broke down and the only thing I could say to myself was, “I can’t”!  I felt an overwhelming feeling of not wanting my life, and that was so scary!

Vidette: I talk about in Soul Mama that even prior to that moment, I’ve had these feelings of “something’s off”.  I didn’t know what to do to understand those feelings.  In today’s society, we live in a culture where we go to school, get a great job, get married….  But I find myself still saying, “Why isn’t this feeling good?”  I went through many jobs, lived in 5 different cities.  Like you were saying earlier, I was chasing stuff and checking things off my list.  That pivotal day when I broke down, it was a normal day.  Nothing unusual happened.  I was just overcome with emotion, finally I said out loud, “I can’t believe this is my life.”  There’s something to be said when we hear ourselves say something like that.  I felt guilty, I had two beautiful boys and this great job.  So I wondered why I wasn’t happy and thought something was wrong with me!  I think that many women go through it but we just didn’t know what to do?

Melinda: I completely went through that journey and I haven’t had the guts to write or really talk about it in public.   I felt at one point as if I had rejected my life.  I’ve checked off all the “things” I was supposed to do and then wondered, “now what?”

Vidette: My message of reinvention comes at any given time when we come to a certain point in our lives.  I find that I’ll always reinvent my life.  It’s not about negating your husband or children.  It’s simply taking a step back and re-evaluation what’s working and what’s not working in our lives.  Reinvention is identifying which areas of our lives need to be leveled up. Then… when we stay in alignment with our purpose and understand what we really want to do instead of what we’re supposed to do.

Melinda: How did you sort it all out?  A lot of women wouldn’t know what to do at that point.  What did you do?

Vidette: I wish I could say that day made me change right away, but it didn’t.  That whispers within me have been trying to speak to me for a very long time and I continued to ignore her.  4 months later is when my life fell down around me, and that’s when I talk about walking in on my husband with another woman.  That’s when I realized that something REALLY needed to change and at that point, I didn’t know how to change things.  I just started doing things and making decisions differently.  That’s also when I started listening to my inner Soul Mama!  After 4 years in that journey, I realized my process and journey.  That’s what I teach now, I developed a tangible process so I can help other women get through this difficult journey.

Melinda: And that’s perfect!  So many other women would love that.  I’ve had many conversations about that “initiation” point.  Did you go to any mentors or friends you went to through your journey?

Vidette: I found mentors, because at that time, my friends and I would go out to dinners and I didn’t want to be the imperfect one.    Everyone else’s lives seemed perfect.  I found more comfort with people who didn’t know me.  I found mentors who would specific help me with certain areas in my life.  I needed to let go of a lot of toxic things in my life.  I really started to spend money, time and invested in myself.  I didn’t know what was wrong, I didn’t know what I didn’t know.  I needed help with next steps.

Someone gave me the advice of finding people who are doing what you want to do and go learn from them.  So I found amazing mentors who’s been there and done that.

Melinda: So what advice would you give women who may not have the financial resources to hire coaches or mentors?  What would you suggest?

Vidette: A few things come to mind.  There’s a lot of people sharing beautiful valuable content online and workshops.  There are a lot of resources and actually sometimes too much!  But if you want it bad enough, you’ll find the resources.  This may sound hard core but, just find the money because it’s worth it!  Start out with the free stuff and get some self-help books.  Choose the strategies that call to you and just start implementing them.  Just choose 1 strategy and do things differently.  Then when the opportunity comes, hire something to advance you further.

Great advice!  Start with the free stuff…  Definitely start with what strategies or resources that calls out to you because that’s your intuition talking to you.  Once you start doing things differently, different opportunities will open up and your path will be changed forever.

What Legacy are You Leaving Behind? Mortality Much?

Hi this is Melinda Kim, founder of Aspirely.com and host of AspirelyTV.

Recently, I’ve been thinking and talking a lot of the legacy I want to leave behind and how that promotes positive changes.

So instead of talking about this off camera, I’m going to share with you all one of the most powerful motivators for me to take action to make positive changes in my life.

This is going to be kind of morbid…

  • I actually think about what they would say about me NOW if I’m not longer here..and what impact I’ve had on their lives.
  • And if I think what my family and friends will say about me doesn’t reflect who I am and what I’m trying to achieve, then I think about what type of changes I need to make.
  • My ultimate legacy I want to leave behind is that I have inspired moms to take action to live a life with passion, courage and purpose.
  • And to my children, I hope that I will show them that anything is possible and for them to follow their own dreams, teach them to overcome their challenges and be happy and confident of being who they are.  Let’s face it, whether we like it or not, our children learn from our actions and not our words

So when I think about positive changes, I think how I want to impact the most important people in my life and what is the message I want to pass on.

Look, I know that we are all different, I would love to know what you think about this topic…

Perhaps you can tell me what Your legacy is that you want to leave behind.  Or maybe, this doesn’t motivate you to change at all, let me know what is your most powerful motivator to take action for positive changes in your life.

I hope this episode opens up honest conversations that will inspire you for positive changes so YOU can be the person you’re meant to be.

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See you next time