Suburban Housewife to Hollywood Glam! – Special Edition

Hey hey hey! I’m going to the PlayBoy Mansion for the Pre-ESPY Party!!! Once in a lifetime event and I’m getting ready from Drab to Fab! Thanks Heather Amin for the awesome transformation!

The Future of Women in Video

Marie Riddle Walker, Founder of Livin Lime and Melinda Kim, Founder of Aspirely talk about the future and importance of video and women. Marie is involved in multiple and highly influential communities online such as Friends of Ricki and Social Media Girlfriends. She is sharing her insights with us after attending the Women in Video conference at the Mom2Summit last month!

Mini-Van Confession….. or Confusion #2: This Women Empowerment Thing

Yo Yo Yo everyone, this is Melinda Kim from Aspirely.com, Mini-Van Confession #2 right here on the 405 and in traffic.  All day today, I’ve been thinking about this whole women empowerment thing.  Obviously a big fan, if we help each other and collaborate, we can change the world.  Right?

But then I came across this quote that says girls compete with each other and women empower each other.  Why do we need a quote for that?  Obviously, it’s not happening on our own and we’re not helping each other on our own.  This is crazy to me because women are natural communicators and nurturers!   But when it comes to each other, we are so emotionally involved.  We don’t work well with women we don’t like and it’s just drama!  Okay, so I’m generalizing… obviously.  I’m sure not all women are like that because I’m not…  I’m just sayin’, just sayin’.   Anyhow, today’s confession is more like confusion because I don’t get it…

If you have any answers, let me know.  I’d love to know what you think about this whole topic of women empowerment.  True believer, I get it and I know we can make a difference.  But why aren’t we doing this naturally??  Well, I’m speeding up and picking up.  Goto go!

Mini-Van Confession #1

Hi! This is Melinda Kim and these are my confessions and opinions!

Hey everyone, it’s Melinda Kim and this is my first mini-van confession! I can‘t stand people who think they are victims.  I had the exact same conversation with my daughter today because she claims that she had bad behavior because so and so made me her this way, so and so made her this mad and so and so….

But the point is, nobody is in charge of your actions but yourself! I think we all know this, even as an adult, there’s always so much blame and so much resentment towards others. I just really want to get the message across that you in the end are the one who are really in charge of your own actions.

Think about what story you’re telling yourself, are you an overcomer or are you a victim? I sure hope you’re not a victim because if you tell yourself you are, you’re going to be.
But if you tell yourself that you’re an overcomer, you’re going to be looking at all that you have overcame. Then whatever you’re going through, it’s something that you can handle and get through. You are not a victim and you can choose a better path.  So that’s my confession today, I don’t deal well with people who think they’re victims.

Why Men Rules the World and The Hot Topic of Lean In.

I’m Melinda Kim, Founder for Aspirely and host of AspirelyTV. My conversation today is with Debbie Nichols, a mom, entrepreneur, Masters Degree holder and now back in school for her second career. Debbie and I talk about how having a family affected her ambition as a career woman and how’s she’s now Leaning In to her passion as a mom.

 

Say Bye Bye Bye to Your Excuses and Invest In Yourself!

This is Melinda Kim, Founder of Aspirely. Today, I am squashing excuses show you how you can invest in yourself.

Investing in yourself is so important because you will feel that a sense of purpose and fulfillment that is for YOU and not your family. We tend to give every moment of every day to other people, whether it’s our family, business or work. Because at the end of the day, if we don’t feel like we’re growing and progressing as an individual, we can’t fully give ourselves to our family and friends.

I hear a lot of reasons why investing in yourself is hard… things like I don’t have time for that right now, I don’t have the money or I’m not sure what I want to do.

So I’m going to address all that right now… Let’s face it, we all have time and a matter of putting yourself in priority and make the time. Think of creative ways like making a commitment for ½ an hour a day, pop in a video and work out from your home. Or go take a community course that you’ve always wanted to take while the kids are at school. The trick is to schedule it. We all know if something’s not written, it’s not going happen.

Next, let’s talk about the money thing! There are so many resources online between blogs and Youtube that you can pretty much learn about anything you want. So get Googling and I’m sure you’ll find a great cooking class or workout regime that you can simply follow.

And the third one is not being sure of what you want to do. This is actually very common. But if you listen to you own voice, you really know what your interests are. Don’t be afraid to start! If it’s dancing and you haven’t danced in a while, go take a dance class at your local gym that you may belong to already. Or simply try some arts and crafts you see on Pinterest.

The point is, just start taking time out and investing back in yourself. If you’re happy, you’ll find yourself giving more back to your family.

She Said Something That I Wish I Had the Guts to Say!

Melinda Kim, Founder for Aspirely.com chats with author, host, speaker and surfer Vidette Vanderweide about her heart dropping journey to discovery, reinvention and becoming a S.O.U.L Mama.

Melinda: I downloaded your book in my iPhone and I was really impressed with your writing because I really felt like you were telling my story.  There was a point where you were in your car where you were dropping the kids off at school, and you broke down crying.  You realized that this is not the life you had imagined and I personally went through the same thing.  I felt like I chased “things” all my life and at one point, I also broke down and the only thing I could say to myself was, “I can’t”!  I felt an overwhelming feeling of not wanting my life, and that was so scary!

Vidette: I talk about in Soul Mama that even prior to that moment, I’ve had these feelings of “something’s off”.  I didn’t know what to do to understand those feelings.  In today’s society, we live in a culture where we go to school, get a great job, get married….  But I find myself still saying, “Why isn’t this feeling good?”  I went through many jobs, lived in 5 different cities.  Like you were saying earlier, I was chasing stuff and checking things off my list.  That pivotal day when I broke down, it was a normal day.  Nothing unusual happened.  I was just overcome with emotion, finally I said out loud, “I can’t believe this is my life.”  There’s something to be said when we hear ourselves say something like that.  I felt guilty, I had two beautiful boys and this great job.  So I wondered why I wasn’t happy and thought something was wrong with me!  I think that many women go through it but we just didn’t know what to do?

Melinda: I completely went through that journey and I haven’t had the guts to write or really talk about it in public.   I felt at one point as if I had rejected my life.  I’ve checked off all the “things” I was supposed to do and then wondered, “now what?”

Vidette: My message of reinvention comes at any given time when we come to a certain point in our lives.  I find that I’ll always reinvent my life.  It’s not about negating your husband or children.  It’s simply taking a step back and re-evaluation what’s working and what’s not working in our lives.  Reinvention is identifying which areas of our lives need to be leveled up. Then… when we stay in alignment with our purpose and understand what we really want to do instead of what we’re supposed to do.

Melinda: How did you sort it all out?  A lot of women wouldn’t know what to do at that point.  What did you do?

Vidette: I wish I could say that day made me change right away, but it didn’t.  That whispers within me have been trying to speak to me for a very long time and I continued to ignore her.  4 months later is when my life fell down around me, and that’s when I talk about walking in on my husband with another woman.  That’s when I realized that something REALLY needed to change and at that point, I didn’t know how to change things.  I just started doing things and making decisions differently.  That’s also when I started listening to my inner Soul Mama!  After 4 years in that journey, I realized my process and journey.  That’s what I teach now, I developed a tangible process so I can help other women get through this difficult journey.

Melinda: And that’s perfect!  So many other women would love that.  I’ve had many conversations about that “initiation” point.  Did you go to any mentors or friends you went to through your journey?

Vidette: I found mentors, because at that time, my friends and I would go out to dinners and I didn’t want to be the imperfect one.    Everyone else’s lives seemed perfect.  I found more comfort with people who didn’t know me.  I found mentors who would specific help me with certain areas in my life.  I needed to let go of a lot of toxic things in my life.  I really started to spend money, time and invested in myself.  I didn’t know what was wrong, I didn’t know what I didn’t know.  I needed help with next steps.

Someone gave me the advice of finding people who are doing what you want to do and go learn from them.  So I found amazing mentors who’s been there and done that.

Melinda: So what advice would you give women who may not have the financial resources to hire coaches or mentors?  What would you suggest?

Vidette: A few things come to mind.  There’s a lot of people sharing beautiful valuable content online and workshops.  There are a lot of resources and actually sometimes too much!  But if you want it bad enough, you’ll find the resources.  This may sound hard core but, just find the money because it’s worth it!  Start out with the free stuff and get some self-help books.  Choose the strategies that call to you and just start implementing them.  Just choose 1 strategy and do things differently.  Then when the opportunity comes, hire something to advance you further.

Great advice!  Start with the free stuff…  Definitely start with what strategies or resources that calls out to you because that’s your intuition talking to you.  Once you start doing things differently, different opportunities will open up and your path will be changed forever.