Mini-Van Confession #1

Hi! This is Melinda Kim and these are my confessions and opinions!

Hey everyone, it’s Melinda Kim and this is my first mini-van confession! I can‘t stand people who think they are victims.  I had the exact same conversation with my daughter today because she claims that she had bad behavior because so and so made me her this way, so and so made her this mad and so and so….

But the point is, nobody is in charge of your actions but yourself! I think we all know this, even as an adult, there’s always so much blame and so much resentment towards others. I just really want to get the message across that you in the end are the one who are really in charge of your own actions.

Think about what story you’re telling yourself, are you an overcomer or are you a victim? I sure hope you’re not a victim because if you tell yourself you are, you’re going to be.
But if you tell yourself that you’re an overcomer, you’re going to be looking at all that you have overcame. Then whatever you’re going through, it’s something that you can handle and get through. You are not a victim and you can choose a better path.  So that’s my confession today, I don’t deal well with people who think they’re victims.

What Legacy are You Leaving Behind? Mortality Much?

Hi this is Melinda Kim, founder of Aspirely.com and host of AspirelyTV.

Recently, I’ve been thinking and talking a lot of the legacy I want to leave behind and how that promotes positive changes.

So instead of talking about this off camera, I’m going to share with you all one of the most powerful motivators for me to take action to make positive changes in my life.

This is going to be kind of morbid…

  • I actually think about what they would say about me NOW if I’m not longer here..and what impact I’ve had on their lives.
  • And if I think what my family and friends will say about me doesn’t reflect who I am and what I’m trying to achieve, then I think about what type of changes I need to make.
  • My ultimate legacy I want to leave behind is that I have inspired moms to take action to live a life with passion, courage and purpose.
  • And to my children, I hope that I will show them that anything is possible and for them to follow their own dreams, teach them to overcome their challenges and be happy and confident of being who they are.  Let’s face it, whether we like it or not, our children learn from our actions and not our words

So when I think about positive changes, I think how I want to impact the most important people in my life and what is the message I want to pass on.

Look, I know that we are all different, I would love to know what you think about this topic…

Perhaps you can tell me what Your legacy is that you want to leave behind.  Or maybe, this doesn’t motivate you to change at all, let me know what is your most powerful motivator to take action for positive changes in your life.

I hope this episode opens up honest conversations that will inspire you for positive changes so YOU can be the person you’re meant to be.

Visit our community on fb.com/aspirely and subsctibe here!

See you next time

3 Ways to Start Investing In Yourself

 

Imagine yourself 5 years from now, are you going to be satisfied with your life exactly the way it is right now?  Taking time out to invest in yourself is GOOD for you and your family! Here are 3 ways to help you get started in taking action towards living the life you’ll love.

  1. STOP the Guilt: Rekindle with your passion and indulge in things you LOVE to do!  The trick to NOT feeling guilty is your mindset!  Once you realize that taking time out to do the things you love will in turn make you a more patient mother and attentive wife.  Haven’t you heard of the phrase “Happy Wife, Happy Life”?
  2. Take Baby Steps:  What is one little thing can you do TODAY that will bring you closer      to the life you want to live.  Do one LITTLE thing per day and before long, look back and you’ll see HUGE progress.
  3. Talk More:  Make sure you are constantly talking about the things you are doing with friends and family!  If it’s something you love, you’ll have no problems talking about it!  Getting support and validation will encourage you to continue!

The key is to make progress!  Here’s a thought…  Progress leads to Growth which leads to Happiness!

 

 

 

3 Steps to Improve Your Health… and other things… in 2013.

Improving your health for 2013 includes more than just going to the gym and eating healthy. For women, the two main areas of continual search for improvement is fitness and finance. But in reality, having and setting goals are crucial to succeeding in anything we are striving to improve on.

1. Set a goal that is SMART (Specific, Meaningful, Attainable, Relevant and Timely)
2.  Share it for support and accountability – Sharing it with friends and other connections multiplies the chance of success due to the support and accountability other connections will provide.
3.  Celebrate milestones and accomplishments with friends and families give us memorable moments. These moments will give you fuel when you are faced with difficult moments while striving for future goals.

Use tactics such as positive thinking, strive for excellence (not perfection), remembering to invest in yourself, and ask for help and support when you need inspiration to persevere through challenging times are crucial to your success of achieving any goal.

*The key is to have support and accountability so we don’t feel like we’re at it alone and others are routing for you. This way, it decreases stress, increase inspiration and create deeper relationships… which all equals to less stress.

Why You Should NOT be a Helicopter Parent and What You Should Do If You Are.

Helicopter parenting hurts children and their future.  When did hovering and micro-managing your child become the norm? Professors across the U.S. are finding an increase in parents calling in to negotiate their children’s grades and employers are finding an increase in calls to negotiate pay and rise. Let’s face it, that’s excessive! Children these days feel more and more entitled and believe credits and achievements should be given to them. But the fact of the matter is… not every child should get a trophy!  Hovering and micro-managing by parents are part of the problem.
Helicopter parents shouldn’t be punished as some articles may suggest, they first need self- realization and then they must get informed. Are you unsure if you are one?  Read on and discover the symptoms, effects and suggested call to action for this parenting style.

Symptoms of a helicopter parent:

  • Do you negotiate for your child, from their grades to their pay?
  • Ex.  Do you call your child’s employer to negotiate their pay or ask why they didn’t get a certain promotion you feel they deserve?
  • Do you micro-manage to a point where you actually end up doing it for them?
  • Ex. It all starts with buying your child a Lego set and end up building it for them.  And once they’re grown, you’re filling out their college applications and calling their professors to negotiate their grade.
  • Do you determine ALL your child’s activities and curriculum regardless of their preference and feedback?
  • Do you have teens away in college yet you still speak to them every day, often multiple times.

If most of these are “yes”, you are a helicopter parent!
Here are the effects of helicopter parenting:

  • Children medicated for anxiety and depression
  • Parents suffer from more anxiety
  • Children become more neurotic
  • Children feel like they lack control
  • Children turn into quitters
  • Children are unable to be self sufficient

These are major issues for a child who’ll turn into an adult in no time.  If you are a helicopter parent, I urge you to change your perception and decide on a different course for your child.  Here’s a suggested call to action that should jump start you to change your attitude as a parent.  Give it a try!

 

Redefining the Modern Mom. What does it mean to you?

In the 50’s, mothers stayed at home to serve their husband and children.  Between the 60s and the 90s, women fought hard to define femininity in the workplace, culture and home.

Today, 72% of moms are in the workforce with kids under the age of 18. Modern moms now want to be great mothers, however, while still pursuing and an identity outside of motherhood.  One of the biggest issues that moms face is the backlash of fragmented families and the fight to hold on to traditional values.  Moms are finding themselves having to work for financial needs but in reality 53% of them would actually prefer to be stay-at-home moms!

Is that possible for a working mom can put 150% in during work hours and can come home and hold on to traditional values?  Why is it that moms feel like they have to aspire to be a stay at home mom in order to achieve that?  Try Googling with the keyword “mom guilt”, and you’ll find over 20 pages of content just about moms and their guilt of self-care and work.  Each day, more than 25 millions mothers work, in addition to performing their duties as a mother, wife or homemaker.  Where is the Momevolution moving toward?  Are we going backwards?

With the rise of Gen Y moms (ages 20-35), a shift in thinking will be needed to close in this gap of 53% of working moms aspiring to be stay at home moms.  The modern mom will enlist help from friends and families to keep focus on their children’s development while feeling fantastic about the work they’re doing outside of their home.

Kick in those traditional values like “it takes a village” to raise a child and believe in the power of community.  Use technology to make your lives easier while staying connected with people you trust.  Don’t feel guilty for your happiness because the media portrays what their definition of a mom is supposed to be.  Because only 12% of moms feel that the media actually portrays them correctly.

The modern mom is NOT about going back to being a mom of the 50’s.  It’s about being smarter while combining the old with the new.

What are your thoughts?

 

 

*Sources: Searcher Moms: A Search Behavior and User Study, DoubleClick, 2007, U.S. Department of Labor, Trillion Dollar Moms by Maria T. Bailey & Bonnie Worthy Ulman and the Current Population Survey, Bureau of Census for the Bureau of Labor Statistics

Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net


 

Working Moms, Stay at Home Moms… What’s with the judgement?

The working mom wishes she had more free time to be available to her child, and   the nonworking woman would maybe like to have something that’s a reflection of her as an individual — a label that says she’s a capable, creative person who knows about more than just baby formula or after-school programs.

At the end of the day, we are the same…  MOMS!  We all have guilt, sadness, hopes and wishes.  This month, let’s try to help each other and put aside your judgement.  As moms, we are all individuals who wishes to create a better life for ourselves, kids and family.

Imagine a day when nonworking moms can get advice from working moms when they wish to start their own business or go back in the workplace.  Or working moms with advice on where to take their kids for the most popular local activities when they are on break? Just a couple of random examples…

Whether a mom works or not, most of us act by placing our children in priority.  So when you get an opportunity, instead of judging, try asking how you can help.

What’s your opinion?  Leave a comment and let me know how you feel!