Mini-Van Confessions #4: Confessions of a Selfish Mom

Hey ladies, it’s Melinda Kim from AspirelyTV.

I have a special announcement for you guys today.  AspirelyTV just got accepted in to the YouTube channel called #MomPulse.  It’s like any other TV channel but it’s on YouTube.  There’s a ton of mom vloggers on there where you can get some funny content, beauty, food, health and entertainment, you should definitely check out MomPulse because I’ll be there!

So today I’ve been thinking a lot about the guilt.  I think I’ve been feeling a lot of guilt lately and that’s why this issue is coming up.  It’s the notion of being a selfish mom.  I love being a mom but I don’t just want to be a mom.  It doesn’t make me selfish!  There’s still so many things I want to do like travel, have accomplishments, reach my dreams, build technology that will help others, I want to connect people together and create something for this world.  How is that selfish?

For all I know, you probably don’t even think I’m selfish, it’s probably my own paranoya.  I’m thinking other people think I’m selfish because I want to do all these things and it doesn’t involve my kids.

So here is it… my guilt confession #4 is that I feel guilty because I want to be more than just a mom.

Mini-Van Confession #3: If I wasn’t afraid I would…

This is Melinda Kim from Aspirely.com and this is my 3rd Mini-Van confessions. Obviously I’m not driving today. A lot of you guys thought I was going to wreck, I’m not going to wreck, I’m safe, Promise. But for the ease of your mind today, I will do it in the parking lot since I’m waiting for my children anyhow.
Today, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would do if I wasn’t afraid. I don’t think of this question as in right now for me, I think of it as when I was in my 20s. I wish I were not afraid to negotiate my first salary, I wish I would have spoken up more and not cared about what others thought of me and I wish I would have listened to my intuitions more. But I think all that too are natural growing pains. When I look back, of course, I see now that I know more and wiser. This leads to another point…
A lot of people say, “I really get more reserved when I get older.” I beg to differ, I feel like I get bolder as I get older because now you know who you are, what you stand, you don’t really care, so you’re going to just say it. I know I do…
When it comes to the whole women glass ceiling and the self-deprecation, is it because of our fears? Is it because we’re so afraid of not being liked at work, not being portrayed as leaders or afraid of negotiation that salary?
Are the fears holding us as women back?
I think as we get older, we get bolder, our fears are what stops us from going forward individually and as a society. If I wasn’t afraid… I can’t even think about it. I feel like I’m doing it.

How Light Shines Through in the Darkest Moments with 1 Decision.

This is Melinda Kim, Founder of Aspirely and Host of AspirelyTV. These are my own thoughts and opinions…

What does letting go mean to you? It doesn’t just mean for you to calm down when a car cuts you off.  It’s more like… giving yourself a break after a huge life flop.
A few years ago, I realized I was really unhappy with my life. I was sucking at my job, my marriage, probably not being the best mother and I knew I wasn’t where I wanted to be in that phase of my life. I felt like I was failing at life, at motherhood and my career, I was going through the motions and just surviving. I thought maybe if I get through certain situations, then I’ll be happy.

I didn’t feel like I had control and it was a tough place to be in. I finally decided to give myself the permission to start over fresh and let go of my past mistakes and behaviors. I realized that I couldn’t change the past but I can change the future.

I was inspired and excited to let go of the old me but at the same time so appreciate of the experience I went through, sometimes it takes dark moments like that helps us figure out our ultimate path . Your past doesn’t dictate your future. Let go and be awesome. Dwell in the possibilities.

#FitnessTuesday: Diet vs. Exercise. Where Should You Start?

Feature Guest Blog:  #FitnessTuesday with Andrea Galbreath!

Diet vs Exercise: Where should you start?

I get approached by many people telling me they want to lose weight.  Interestingly enough, that statement is often followed by this question:  “Should I start with diet or exercise?”

Well, here is my take on this.  It’s kind of like the chicken and the egg debate.  Does it really matter which one is first? Not really, because you can’t have one without the other.  The same goes for diet and exercise.  It doesn’t matter where you start as long as you start! But in order to have real and long-lasting results, you need diet AND exercise.

Here are a couple of (almost) real life examples:

  1. We all know somebody that has lost 20, 30, 40 or more pounds with just diet alone.  Sure, that person has gone down a few dress sizes, but they look kind of soft and squishy and get out of breath just walking up a flight of stairs.
  2. What about that friend who is at the gym everyday sweating it out with the best of them?  She meets you for lunch, orders a cheeseburger, french fries, and a diet coke, then complains that she can’t fit into her pre-pregnancy jeans. Hmmmmm. Wonder why….

So what’s the take-away? First, don’t wait for the stars to align before you take control of your health. Start now!!!  Maybe you want to focus on your eating habits.  That’s great! Maybe you want to start by establishing an exercise routine that you can maintain.  Fabulous!  Just start and remember that in order to feel the full benefits of these changes you will have to include both diet AND exercise.  You won’t be sorry that you do!

Have a healthy day!

 

Connect with Andrea!

Mom of 3 amazing kids, health and fitness professional, Turbo Kick junkie, and Transformation Specialist helping people transform into better versions of themselves!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andrea.igigwellness

Email: andrea@igigwellness.com

 

5 Quick Ways to Stick To Your New Year Resolutions!

Most New Year resolutions drop off and disappear after only 18 days!  Here are a few tricks to lessen your chances of falling off the wagon…

1.  Don’t make too many resolutions at one time, start with a couple, complete it and go on to your next goal.  Having too many at once will only overwhelm you!  Baby steps… baby steps…

2.  Write it down:  The chance of you accomplishing a goal increases by 70% just by writing it down!  So what are you waiting for??  Write it down!

3.  Share it with friends:  Support and accountability is HUGE when it comes to getting through challenges on your journey.  Let your friends help you!  They may have resources that you may not have.

4.  Get out of your own way:  If you are trying to stop eating junk, stop buying them!  That’s it!  Lessen your risk of you falling off the wagon by not putting yourself in situations where you may be tempted.

 

Stay at Home Mom Aspiring to go back to Work? Here’s What You Need to Know!

We have a special interview with career coach, Kat Lee!  Kat has helped numerous stay at home moms get back into the workforce.  Today, she’s sharing with us some commonly asked questions that may help YOU get back to work after taking some time off with your children.

Kat specializes in career transitioning whether it be for first time job seekers, re-entry into the marketplace, or changing direction. She has worked with all levels of employees from hourly to executives and she loves to write anyone’s resume except her own. Much of her time was spent working with people who were transitioning out of their jobs in a variety of industries and some wonderful companies such as Qualcomm, Mattel, Allergan and many others.  She currently has her own career coaching practice and enjoys helping people one-on one; change direction, find a new job to call home, or practice their interview skills.

 

QUESTION: I’d love to go back to work, but I have spent the last 6 years as a stay-at-home mom. The jobs I held in the past weren’t really what I call a career either, so I am at a loss for how to even pull together a resume. Can you give me some tips about how to return to the work force?

ANSWER: I won’t lie and say it’s easy to just jump back into the workforce after an extended period away from the workforce, but it’s definitely doable as long as you are open to the differences that may come with having been out for so long. Depending on the field of work you came from, you may even need to be open to a career change.

One of the first things you should do is get your resume up to speed. That may mean revamping an existing resume, or starting from scratch. Now, as much as you do as a stay-at-home mom, what you use on your actual resume is somewhat limited. Changing diapers and packing lunches cannot realistically be turned into Sanitation Manager and Food Services Supervisor, but there are definitely things that can go on an updated resume.

If you have had work experience in the past that lends itself well to what you want to do next, you might consider making a Functional Resume. A Functional Resume is where you list your expertise under headings such as Human Resources, Training and Management and then list dates of employment afterwards. If you are making a change or didn’t work prior, there are probably many things that you have done in the past six years that you could put on your resume.

Examples:
Brownie/Boy Scout Troop Leader – You can list the projects you organized with the troop, talk about finances you had to handle or even vendors that you may have worked with
School Volunteer – Use the work you did helping children learn to read and write, or if you organized a school event or fundraiser, or maybe you were PTA treasurer.
Community Volunteer – Many of the responsibilities may be helpful in your resume and may even help you to think of new job possibilities. Things such as organizing your Sunday school volunteer schedule, or handing the money for the bake sale, these are all things that can be mentioned on a resume.
Blogger – Definitely writing skills or if you worked with companies setting up give-aways.

The bottom line is you need to think about the skills that you kept up with and used, but maybe they are coming from another setting. There are many things that show transferable skills that will work in the workplace and will go nicely on a resume.

Once you sit down and review all that you have accomplished in the past six years, you are ready for the next step – figuring out what it is you want to do. After thinking about and getting your transferrable skills down on paper, you might start to see a certain theme coming through on your resume which can help you to start your job search.

Don’t forget to think about what type of job it is that you are seeking, can you only manage part-time because of the children, do you want to work from home, would you prefer full-time? Maybe there is a theme of organizing and accounting running through your resume, maybe and office manager might be a good fit. Maybe you notice lots of editing and scheduling so an assistant might be a good fit. Or maybe you are looking for something part-time and you have been doing much of the marketing and fundraising for your church and so a part-time sales job might work for you.

I think it is important to remember to stay flexible and to think outside the box. Remember that you can always seek professional help through a career coach, look into community services such as church job search groups, or even alumni career services to help you attain your goal of employment.

Thank you Kat for this informative discussion!  I hope this will help our moms go toward the dream job they’ve been thinking about!

Kate Lee: kat.lee.921@facebook.com

Fitness to life theory… What Fusion Are you?

The most successful fitness formats I know usually identify themselves as some type of Fusion.  Either it’s dance mixed to kick boxing or yoga mixed with cardio.  These combinations are what made their brand unique and interesting.

This made me think…  What fusion are you?  As an individual, I consider my style to be a cross of Rock and Luxury.  I realize your crosses are what make YOU unique and interesting!

Just for fun, if you were to describe yourself as a fusion, what would it be?

 

*Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Taking a Moment of Gratitude

 

Isn’t it so ironic that the Holidays have become so busy but its purpose was for us to slow down and give thanks to the people and things around us?  So today, I am slowing down and writing a few words of thanks!

  • To my husband and kids who loves me unconditionally even though I work way too much.
  • To my work family… you know who you are.  Without you this year, Aspirely would not have been born.
  • I’m very fortunate to have the things that I have.  Even though I always think I want or need more.
  • Thankful for our Health!  Thank goodness we are happy and healthy this holiday season.
  • Lastly, I’m thankful for my parents.  They are the BEST!

Hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving!  Give a moment of gratitude and feel an automatic smile on your face!

*Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net